Getting back together after a break up is difficult because because it is such a definitive event. One person has said, “I want this to end.” Going back on that makes that person appear flakey and weak and people are generally unwilling to recant once they’ve made such a bold and definite statement.
Further, before they even said the words, “We are breaking up.” They went over the reasons for the break up again and again in their mind. They probably consulted with their family and friends. After explaining their reasons, their family and friends probably agreed with them. So, not only would they appear weak and inconsistent to you, they would appear that way to their friends and family.
And during the break up, there was probably some back and forth discussion about the reasons for the break up. You may have argued with them about their reasons, you have may have tried to find ways around their reasons. When you did so, you made them think through their arguments and dig their heals in. They probably even came up with new reasons for the break up on the spot.
After the break up, you were probably extremely emotional and probably behaved in a dramatic or even negative way. Some people cannot contain their feelings and may become angry, very distressed – it can come off crazy to an observer. Your ex may have interpreted your behavior as additional evidence that the two of you should not be together.
Taken together, these can all create a lot of friction when you are trying to get back together. You will have to overcome a lot of resistance and it won’t be easy. This is why I recommend that people follow a proven plan: so that you avoid the mistakes that most people make. You can do a lot of damage in those first few days after a break up and it can be difficult to undo.