The Best and Fastest Way to Keep a Someone You Love From Leaving You
What is the best and fastest way to keep a man (or a woman) from leaving you?
If you follow these steps, chances are VERY, very strong that your ex will seriously rethink the idea of breaking up with you.
"Jessica" (not her real name) wrote me this question:
My boyfriend has been head over heels about me, but out of nowhere, he told me "I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want a commitment or a relationship at this point in my life."
How many relationships have gone through this scene? A lot!
But here's the good news: this is one of the easiest situations to handle in any relationship if you know what to say and do:
Most important of all: do not argue with him. It won't work. He is telling you the truth and he is probably feeling pressured by your expectations.
Your job is to make him feel suddenly a lot less pressured.
You'll end the pressure by simply not arguing with him AT ALL. This alone will come as a surprise to him.
Now if you're really full of mischief, you could totally turn the tables on him and say, "That's really a relief - I was afraid you were getting too serious about me."
I just love a nice plot twist. And what a difference from dissolving into tears and pleading.
THAT can be truly effective. Why? Because the REASON your guy or girl is backing off from you is because they feel like you want them more than they want you!
He feels some pressure. He is not chasing you. He has nothing to reach for.
You need to inject some magic into things again, and the easiest way to do this is by taking a big step back from him.
Immediately, all the pressure is gone! Now suddenly, he is not thinking about how much he wants to get away - instead he will start to wonder if YOUR feelings have changed!
No matter what, his ego counts on the fact that you have feelings for him. So never underestimate this very important fact.
What do you have to lose? Take a risk. At the least, do not panic or get desperate.
That's where people always go wrong.
If your boyfriend or husband has been with you this long, he is not anxious to see you go.
Never underestimate your power with someone with whom there has been a relationship or romance!
What to do NEXT:
Have faith in yourself. Take a long break from his company. Be willing to let him go.
Oh, and ask for your key back as soon as he mentions leaving! If he has things at your place, just hand them back to him as if it's no big deal whatsoever. That is SURE to shake him up.
When you do these things, it's almost a guarantee that you will be hearing from him again very soon.
This advice truly does work - as people tell me every single day. Keep it in mind so you can use this advice when you need it.
I am in a long term, long distance relationship (we both have obligations yet to fulfill before we can move to be nearer) which can create challenges and we probably work harder at maintaining our relationship.
So, when I read your recent email, I quickly sent my guy an email admiring him for the things that I know are important to him. He doesn't usually mention what I have written to him, but he called that night to tell me he received my nice email.
Macy (not her real name)
Thank you, Macy, that is great to hear! Macy and her guy are obviously doing well. But even if you are at your wit's end with your man and feel that there is little to admire about him, you might want to take another stab at showing admiration. After all, you must have had SOME reason to admire him at some point, or you wouldn't be with him.
There is something to admire about everyone, so find those things, and offer some pure admiration, without expecting something in return. You might find that it provides a breakthrough for you and him.
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Author of "Man Mistake Eraser - How To Regain a Man's Interest"